I don’t know why
I never wanted to get married. I never wanted to own a house. Marriage = pain. A house is too big a commitment. Hold on to freedom. You can go away from those painful places whenever you need to. In addiction you stop developing mentally/emotionally at the age you were when you became active in your using. Most the time I think I won’t ever feel grown up. I still got a long way to go. It’s all a big journey.